Introduction To My World

Here will be just a little information about the main people that will be written about in my blog Dear JJ.

S – Myself, the Author of Dear JJ

YJ – My Korean boyfriend

T & N – Two friends I tend to run into frequently

J – My best friend in Alaska

K – Another close friend of mine who is from New Zealand

JB and M – A couple who are also in my close group of friends, they are from England, along with

A – who is JB’s ex and a psychic. Some of his predictions will be posted in this blog. They’ve never turned out wrong for me. He’s only 17 and already a professional psychic. Don’t believe in those type of abilities? You will after I show you his predictions before they happen. 😉

K – A close friend of my boyfriend

I – A new friend i’ve made who is f2m trans

C and P – a gay couple that is friends with I

R – A coworker and friend of mine

There will be additional people to look out for, those are just the ones I will talk about primarily, along with some members of my family.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Dear J

04/05/13

Hey J,

It’s only 11:20pm, so it’s only been 3 and a half hours since they kicked me out. I’m really sad, I miss you so much… I’m sorry I got kicked out. 😥

I’m in a hotel room tonight. I’m kind of scared. I’m alone. I’ve never slept anywhere alone… there’s always been someone. I wish you were here, or my bf. Or both of you lol. We could watch movies together.

OMG I just saw a video where someone died from the cinnamon challange. Don’t EVER do it again, because now i’m paranoid.

It’s 2:43 now… god I am so fucking lonely… I wish I hadn’t fucked things up… I dunno where to go, I dunno what to do. I have no one here really, NO ONE. This city has never really held anything for me… i’m glad I met you though. There haven’t been many worthwhile friends i’ve made here, but you are one. Really, i’ve never made a true close friend in Alaska before you. All of my friends say they can’t picture me being here very long. Alaska has never been a voluntary place for me to be J… I hate it here, my whole life here has been fucked up. It started with yelling, rape, being harassed & kidnapped, then went on to “best friends” who after years ended up just being superficial. Well they always were, I just ignored it because the rest of the people I went to school with hated me more openly.

Someone told me its because they were jealous of me, but I dunno where that came from. I hid from everyone when I was younger LOL they didn’t know anything about me, they just hated me.

I feel really sleepy now… it’s taken me until 3:32am to get here… (to that point in the letter)

I actually felt good for once in my life at CS, but tonight i’ve just gone straight back to being an insomniac and I wanna go binge eat then puke it back up, I wanna go smoke a whole fucking pack of cigarettes at once, I wish I had some vodka right now. I wish I could stop crying…

I’m so down…

I’m sorry I got kicked out J…

I’m sorry….

3:57am now.

My chest hurts. My heart hurts. My everything hurts. I could go home but I don’t want to. It hurts more there. I’m not allowed to be myself.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Hard Turns

I had a best friend and a place to stay.. we grew close so fast, and I loved him. Everything exploded last night, and now we aren’t allowed to speak, and i’m homeless. The last thing I remember is him faking a small smile as we both did the heart sign with our hands to eachother while they weren’t looking. I would have run to him and hugged him tight, that’s all I really wanted to do. But we couldn’t. There are bounderies there. and given the current situation.. it’d be a long time before I could talk to him again…

Here will be the story of my short lived time with my first true best friend, the way I got kicked out of my parents home for “forcing my lifestyle” on the rest of the family, and my long and hard adventure in life that started well before my 18th birthday.

We all know growing up is hard, I do for sure. 

Sometimes it even feels like the sky is gonna fall. 🙂

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment