2 Weeks Previous

Here’s the beginning of what started the chain reaction of events that led to where I am now. (You guys still don’t know where I am now, and I don’t know where I will be a week from now lol, but we’ll get to that later on.)

I walked into my parents bedroom to ask something. It had just been 3 days since the Wednesday that they informed me I was being kicked out.

My Step Dad: “Have you found a place to stay yet?”

Me: “No.”

My Step Dad: “Well what are you going to do tomorrow when you don’t live here anymore?”

I left the room without saying a word.

Later on facebook I told P in more detail what exactly had happened. He was going through a simular issue with his parents. They just found out he was with C around the same time my parents decided I was too open about my lifestyle “choices”. The difference is that I had already turned 18 and P is still 17, in fact I don’t think he’s been 17 for very long. His parents told him if they ever found out he was gay they’d disown him and kick him out. I don’t know how things are going for him at the moment, but it sounds like he still lives with them. For now.

MY FB CONVERSATION WITH P

  • Me

    nvm about that thing yesterday, sorry Dx. I was telling me your bf got hurt today, hope he’s ok.

  • March 23
  • Yeah, he’s doing all right; it definitely scared me though. Sorry I haven’t been replying as well, it’s been an intense couple of days, even before the accident. I really do appreciate all your help! I turned in the application a few days ago…. now I’m just keeping my fingers crossed for that call back! FM is my first pick for a job because it’s close to where I live, it pays above minimum wage and has decent hours. So I hope they have room for one more person…

    If I DO get a call back and get an interview, I’ll keep that thing you said about M.S. in mind. Can’t be too careful.

  • Me

    Its been pretty intense for me lately too Dx they will call you back trust me, I talked to my boss. It won’t be until next week at the soonest though because our human resources person who does the employee orientation had some emergency with her son, so no new hires or applicants can get started until the week after this week.

  • Me

    Whats been intense for you? My parents kind of decided to kick me out.. mainly for being gay and trans

    and yeah, definately cant be too careful with people you arent sure about.

  • P

    A lot of things: school, relationships, stuff like that. But today is probably the worst… My parents basically found out about me and C. He’s been staying over this spring break, and a couple days ago my dad walked in on us laying together. I made up this really lame excuse and he left us alone, and I thought that was that. But today I tried asking my mom if I could stay at a friend’s tonight and she exploded and got really mad. We were arguing and at some point she basically told me that her and my dad knew about everything ‘C and I did at night’, and that she knew about us. Needless to say, that sent my world spinning.

    My parents are old-school, super-strict, super-homophobic. Because I’ve acted gay all my life, they’ve hated me for it. Multiple times when I was growing up, they flat out told me that they wouldn’t have a gay son, and if I turned out gay they would disown me and kick me out. You might think those are just empty threats but my parents are the type that mean what they say.

    So for years I’ve been keeping myself a secret from them, because while I’d LOVE to just be out, I still need a roof over my head. Now that they know… I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. So this has been a stressful day.

  • P

    I’m sorry about what happened to you, by the way. I can’t even imagine. That’s exactly the sort of scenario I wouldn’t want happening to me, but I guess it’s a little too late for that. I hope you’re safe and have a place to stay. I’d offer but clearly my own parents don’t even want ME staying with them. Ha.

  • Me

    I dont have anywhere to go myself, mine told me I have to start looking by yesterday.. sounds like you’re kind of in the same boat as me.  mine are homophobes too, I go home everyday and have to deal with my siblings and step dad making jokes about me and my mom thinks im going to hell.. and a few weeks ago my dad was over and told me if it was legal he’d tie me up to the tree outside and beat me..

  • Me

    my parents found out that me and my bf didnt have a straight relationship by going through my fb.. and I think its worse cus now my mom knows that my bf is the submissive one, which in her opinion is why i want to be a guy instead of a girl.

  • Me

    There has to be somewhere in town for gay kids with parents like that right? I was considering looking around and seeing if theres anywhere that helps with stuff like this..

  • P

    There has to be… All I can think of is CS though… That and the A shelter

  • Me

    Do you think you’re gonna get kicked out too?

    Honestly im kind of happy my parents want me out.. if they dont accept me how i am, somewhere else will be better..

  • Me

    Sorry, i’m making this more depressing aren’t I? On a more positive thought, wanna hang out sometime?

  • Me

    I’m sorry, I know I talk alot over facebook, nows probably not the best time for me to be a chatterbox.. Im just trying to keep myself positive, I tend to do it by ignoring the issue.. It sucks how some parents are about having gay kids.. I have one friend whos parents totally accept and love him as a pansexual f2m trans. I get kind of jealous of that sometimes.. How are your boyfriend’s parents about lgbt?

  • Me

    do you know the number or anything for CS or the A shelter? apparently I have no where to live tomorrow.. my parents are so fucked up.. they gave me from nearly midnight wednesday night until now to get out of their house..

  • P

    I do, it’s (907) ***-****..
    I’m so sorry S. I don’t even know what to say. I hope you are safe wherever you end up staying.

  • Me

    Thanks. I can go hang out at the breakroom at FM during the day until around midnight at the latest. I forgot to tell you another perk of working there.. the breakroom has cable, and wifi, and theres even a carpeted area with couches, a seperate area with tables and chairs, vending machines, 2 fridges and 2 microwaves, bathrooms, and a seperate area for the employee lockers. Its pretty homey.

  • Me

    When I got home tonight things kind of went like this, my step dad: “Have you found anywhere to live yet?” me:”No..” step dad:”Well what are you gonna do tomorrow when you don’t live here anymore?” I just walked away without responding..

  • March 24
  • Me

    Hey, if your parents end up kicking you out too and you can’t find anywhere to stay maybe we could be roomates, I was looking around town for monthly rental prices, if I got a roommate the cheaper ones would be affordable.

  • March 24
  • P

    That’s a really nice offer! If anything, my boyfriend will have me live with him at his parents’ apartment. I told him what happened and he said he’d make sure I got to stay with him. Which gives me at least some form of security; now I know I won’t instantly be out on the streets if my parents DO kick me out…

  • Me

    Thats good at least. Its good to be around someone that loves you.  hopefully I can leave town soon and go take care of my bf.. he doesnt live here, I wanna take him back here with me after I go visit him.

    I’m at a hotel right now, same one as R, shes over watching a movie with me and a few other people. Im glad theyre here, i didnt wanna be alone my first night away..

  • Me

    How’re things going with your current situation?

     

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The morning after I spent the night at the hotel with T and N as company (they stayed the whole night, we ended up watching movies for quite a while after R went back to her hotel room.) they helped me carry my bags to CS and then left while I began the process of checking in there and becoming a client. It was that night that I met J for the first time, and there was an instant attraction between us as friends. I didn’t want to take my eyes off of him, and one of the other clients there whispered to me “You know J is really happy that you’re here.”

    I may not believe in love at first sight, but best friends at first sight? Who knew it was possible. It happened to me.

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